You just need to live with the fact that you need to work around all the issues and spend and invest time doing that.Just look at the KP threads here and the fact of how long they have been running. And yes I have reloaded the OS from scratch multiple times, have reset SMC, PRAM muliple times, have turned off every possible incarnation of OS setting that is available, have had my logic board replaced and still the problems persist. I think my MBP will become a toy rather than a work horse and that a windows PC may deliver back the 'it just works experience'. So unfortunately for myself and probably many others that have been burnt by the entire Catalina experience and lack of ability to fix it has reached the point to find an alternative. I have work arounds to the current external monitor issues that frustrate me every single day that I need to work with my MBP but at least I have a way to make it work rather than those that simply get kernel Panics or go and purchase half a dozen new pieces of hardware to try and find one that Apple still likes. I decided at that point there was no value in updating to any further releases due to the obvious inability to release a OS that actually does really 'just work'. I watched all the issues on subsequent dot release of external monitor issues (3 threads on Apple community and over 100k reads) that have run for pages as to how each release resulted in previous working external hardware no longer functioning and every one searching for work arounds to Apples issues. Lodged all of those with Apple with details over a year ago and they are still not fixed. The graphic driver issues became worse and instead of one issue i had 4.
Unfortunately Catalina install killed my firmware and the logic board needed replacing. After much kernel debugging to prove to Apple it was not me and that reinstalling Mojave did nothing i was told that Catalina fixed it. 6 sup2 update which resulted in the kernel trying to change external monitor resolution every 10-50ms when nightshift kicked in. I've essentially just got office installed on my MAC.not much else.